Hear from others, just like you, who are living in the light
and walking in freedom from sexual addiction!
Hear from others, just like you, who are living in the light and walking in freedom from sexual addiction!
I was a single guy that spent all my free time secretly looking at porn. In my life of addiction, I racked up over 2,000 hours of viewing pornography. That is equal to a full-time job for one year. I also served at church and pretended I had my life together. I was living a double life walking in darkness and carrying the weight of it all alone. I was nearly incapable of asking for or receiving help. I didn't know what I needed. In my ideal world, I would have been able to solve my problem alone without any help. But that wasn't working for me.
At my core, I knew I needed help but I didn't want to ask for it. I didn't want to admit that I was helpless. I almost lost the most important relationships in my life because of my secrecy and addiction. These people intervened in my life and made me start seeing Mark. I went reluctantly in order to try to salvage the wreck my life was becoming.
At first, I did not like him and I did not trust him. He told me some hard things. Later, I would see that they were true things. But he also listened to me. Understood me. Showed me compassion. Showed me empathy. And he never shamed me. He helped to walk me out of the dark trap I was living in. God blessed me by placing Mark in my life to help rescue me. My life has been transformed by his care and leadership. I never believed that freedom and life in the light were truly possible until Mark showed me how and helped me on the road to getting there.
I was in constant hiding. I hid behind my phone and filled my schedule with constant tasks draining our relationship from the warmth of a loving husband that my wife sought. She complained, but all I heard were threats that pushed me farther.
Then she found out I was still battling porn in our marriage after I promised to stop. I apologized. She forgave me, but I couldn’t stop. Our marriage was bound to end before our first anniversary.
In our darkest moment, we came across Mark's practice. I signed up and attended both the one-on-one sessions with Mark and the group sessions with others seeking help. Mark helped me mitigate my destructive behaviors by first identifying them and their triggers, incorporating healthy actions toward understanding and vocalizing my emotions with others and particularly my wife.
The result has been nothing but life-changing. I feel alive. I feel like I matter. Most importantly, I can be a healthy God-fearing husband to my wife. Now I do not pretend like I have it all together or hide who I am. I can validate my wife's emotions and not be threatened by them.
We will be celebrating 30 years of marriage this August! Keyword, celebrating! It was a year ago when my husband decided enough was enough and made the call to Mark. I am forever grateful. I had known about his addiction before marriage but we naively thought marriage would fix it. Slowly I was feeling insecure and distant. He would get angry and rage about everything when with me. Out with others, he was nice. I was thinking I was the problem. It wasn't until after 6 years of marriage I left. That was his breaking point and confessed his addiction. He got help from church friends and a pastor.
We came back together, and everything was going well but every once in a while, he was angry. After infertility treatment, we had 6 kids, one set of quadruplets and we lost one girl after birth. One year after the quadruplets we had our last baby. So we had 5 kids under 5. It was stressful in itself. He was angry and would yell a lot.
We moved to another state and that is when I found out more about his addiction. It did not stop. We continued to try to work on things on our own. We found Rosie's book and then Mark. My husband is happier and more at peace. He has always wanted the root of the anger gone and it is! I am getting more secure in his love for me. We are both healing and learning to connect with each other and our teenagers now. We highly recommend Mark's guidance and expertise.
We were separated and headed for divorce after 30 years of a marriage devastated by addiction when we found Mark. He has been instrumental in teaching my husband how important honesty, group support, transparency, communication, emotional vulnerability, and empathy are in recovery. He has helped him get to the root of how his struggles started, what his feelings and triggers are, and how to deal with them. Mark pointed him to Jesus as the source of all hope and healing.
I was fortunate to be able to join a group led by Mark that has helped me navigate my painful journey of healing as well.
My husband and I are in a better place than we have ever been, it is not perfect, but there is an emotional intimacy that we’ve never had before. My husband is back in our home and we are continuing our recovery work together, building trust, a new foundation, and a new marriage.
I lived a life full of darkness and didn't realize the magnitude of my actions and how they hurt everyone I cared about. I thought my sexual desires for variety, pornography, and adultery were a part of me and not a result of an addiction. In the moment of desire, I loved who I was, and in the moments of brief clarity, I didn't like myself.
I had no accountability and refused to let many people see all the layers of my lies and deceit until I met Mark. I was finally able to set myself free of lying and be the husband I knew was within me. I have been sober for 3.5 years. I meet with Mark monthly and my men's group twice a month. I feel strong and finally living a life full of my truth.
I am so thankful that I joined one of Mark's groups. After some uncomfortable confrontations, I finally agreed to get help. Mark was recommended and at first, I was hesitant and did not think I needed help. After struggling alone for some time I finally gave up and started working with Mark. His skill at getting me to see myself in a new light was amazing. Mark was able to show me that my problems on the surface were just symptoms of something deeper. With God's help and Mark's encouragement, I was able to confront some trauma from childhood and begin a new journey of finding the true person God wants me to be. Mark helped set me free from past shame and guilt and helped set me on a path of freedom and joy!
Prior to working with Mark, we were exhausted after years of going in circles. Mark walked us through a facilitated disclosure and polygraph, giving us a foundation of truth.
I (Will), appreciated Mark's leadership, helping me to practice being real and honest with a group of guys. Mark is spiritually discerning and gifted at "poking the bear" to expose issues that needed to be addressed in a kind and non-judgmental way. I have learned to identify and express feelings, instead of repressing them, which has led to a deeper emotional intimacy with my wife.
Martha felt a burden lift as she trusted Mark and the guys to spur me on in my recovery.
Mark's input has had a big impact on our recovery and we highly recommend his ministry to our friends.
We are forever grateful that God used Mark to help us find hope again.
Before working with Mark, I had tried other things, including a licensed counselor. I am 60+ yrs old and all the things didn't seem to help with my addiction. But through this ministry and Mark, I have been able to understand why and have discovered a freedom that I have never had. At first, I didn't like the sessions with Mark but once I got past my addictive brain, I could see that he was leading me to truth through the Word of God and that bringing my addiction into the light was freeing in itself. Having the sessions with someone like Mark, who knows exactly what I was going through, because he too dealt with the same struggles, was such a blessing and so helpful.
He also put me with a group of guys that have challenged me and helped me stay on track. We have become very close and have helped one another in this recovery process. I have also, recently, been able to help another person by becoming a sponsor for someone else who is struggling with this addiction.
I am so thankful to Mark and his bold approach that led me to freedom for the first time since adolescence. I have also directed others to his ministry and they are expressing their thankfulness as well.
Before we sought help from Mark, we were married but emotionally strangers, living together but not connecting... all the while I was hiding how much pornography I was indulging in. My wife knew about my addiction but didn't know how to respond to it, which led to her trying to ignore it at times and pouring out her brokenheartedness to others. I was so numb from escaping through pornography that I felt almost no empathy toward her pain. After 6 years of a cycle of seeking help in the local church, not getting anywhere, trying to ignore the problem, and then seeking help again, my wife was introduced to Fight for Love ministries. She then insisted I seek professional help as the only viable way forward, which I did grudgingly. Mark showed us and helped us practice being totally honest with each other and setting up a plan to protect me from acting out and my wife from being betrayed without recourse. It has taken a lot of work to practice being vulnerable and connected, but now we are much closer than we have ever been before. I never really believed I could go a significant amount of time without viewing porn, but praise God it's been 8 months of freedom and recovery; which has largely only been possible through the group sessions Mark led me and 6 other men through (and who still meet). We recommend Mark's program to any couple who feels hopeless in this addiction; we are so thankful for this work being done!
While deep in my addiction, I was insecure, anxious, and unable to experience true love and connection with God, my wife, and others. I lived a fractured life and desperately ran away from any source of pain. After finally recognizing my need for help, my wife and I met with Mark and began the long road back to intimacy, wholeness, and healing. Through counseling, Mark was able to highlight the patterns of thought and behavior, as well as the role of past trauma that kept me bound to my addiction. Through the group sessions, I and fellow addicts learned how to tell the truth, and to see ourselves clearly for the first time - and our group continues to meet to this day. It’s been over 2 years of sobriety and our marriage has never been stronger as our intimacy has deepened. We are able to truly support and champion each other, be more present and intentional parents and experience the fullness of each other’s love. Mark’s expertise, support, and counsel have been a true God-send and we will be forever grateful.
Hope and Healing are the 2 words I use to describe this part of dealing for 16+ years with my husband's porn addiction. He tried several avenues to be free and nothing was complete. Finally, we have seen what walking in the light can do and what it looks like to really know each other on a vulnerable and emotionally intimate level. Now my husband is paying it forward and helping others on the path to freedom. I am so thankful for Mark and his directness and desire to see my husband come to the truth. I can finally breathe and enjoy my marriage with my husband who is finally free to be himself. I don't know if I could have held on to "another" try at something just to see it not happen for him. This is finally the answer we have been praying for. TRUTH and HONESTY are the beginning to walk in freedom and we are finally there! The women's group was amazing as well. Mark was able to help us feel at ease and direct us to healing by challenging us and also validating each of us. We continue to meet as we have become close-knit and this has also been an important part of healing. This was finally a safe place where others understood what I was going through. I can finally breathe again and no longer feel like I'm in the crazy zone. You can't express what you feel to someone who hasn't experienced the trauma and pain that comes from addiction to sex/porn. Mark provides is a safe place to heal and move ahead in life. I know we are moving ahead and walking in healing and freedom!
Before working with Mark I was addicted to pornography and masturbation. I was living a lie - lying to my wife, but mostly to myself. I worked as a missionary in Asia and I thought I could hide and manage my addiction (I didn't even consider what I was doing as an addiction). Eventually, after some major professional setbacks, I stopped avoiding my behavior and decided I didn't want to continue to medicate with actions that I had been telling myself were not incredibly destructive - they were, and I needed to stop.
A close friend had worked with Mark and recommended him. I was nervous to dedicate the time, money, and vulnerability toward working with Mark. But I'm so glad I did. I threw myself into Mark's recovery program. The process was absolutely life changing - probably the most difficult thing I've done in life, but the best things in life often are difficult. Working with Mark was radically different then any other counselor, church, or accountability group I'd ever been a part of. I'm now more than 2 years sober and all aspects of my life are healthier and improved, especially my relationship with my wife, my kids, my ministry, and my understanding of myself.
From the outside, and on the surface our marriage always looked great. We truly loved each other, held hands at church, and went on many fun holidays together. However, the grip of porn on me, and the resulting cycle of many relapses and partial disclosing/betrayal discovery was killing our marriage from the inside. We tried several counselors, groups, and ministry programs over the years without lasting change. When we started working with Mark it was clear this was different. This is a radically honest approach, looking the ugly truth of sexual addiction in the face, being completely honest first with yourself, and then your partner, in a safe facilitated way. Being in a group where others who can relate, can as one guy put it "call out your BS". The groups Mark facilitated have really been game-changers. We just passed 1 year of our marriage being pornography free which is an absolute miracle! Huge thanks to Mark for the great work you are doing.
Disillusioned, disgusted, and determined to get help; I was searching for solid ground and clear direction when my husband of 18 years knocked me off my feet with his confession that he had been lying to me for most of our marriage. He was addicted to pornography, and in spite of my instincts telling me something was off, I was blindsided by his confession. I didn't want to waste time with unproven, wandering paths. I was so relieved to find that Mark's care was the clear, proven way forward that we needed. Mark gave us trust-worthy, biblically-based (but not spiritually abusive) direction, spoke truth to illuminate the way, didn't accept excuses for destructive behavior, and offered irresistible hope as we "walked in the light." Both my husband and I felt seen, understood, and empowered to change as we faced his addiction together, with Mark's steady guidance. Asking for Mark's help was one of the best decisions we have ever made; a decision that continues to bring health and hope to our increasingly-fulfilling marriage.
I reached out to Mark Makinney during a time of real confusion, sorrow, fear… Mark listened, and validated, he provided direction and a way to address the betrayal I feel resulting from my husband’s sexual addiction. Currently, there is increasing integrity within the marriage as I slowly begin to feel more secure and sound. The sacred trust which was lost is gradually finding its way back with complete marital restoration being the prayer and goal. The groundwork for the first steps was laid by Mark through his approach with couples, his sound counsel, and knowing that the redemptive grace of a good, good God can restore marriages even after betrayal. Thank you, Mark!
My marriage experience before finding Mark’s ministry was one of confusion and torment. My husband of 30 years had done such a masterful job of manipulation that I could not see up from down, nor truth from lies. After two sessions with Mark and a full disclosure, I was in a recovery group with other women and ready to take on the healing plan, but sadly my husband was not. He declined further assistance, and as I look back on my healing, I realize I was miraculously set free by God of his abuse through the truth and love that Mark shared with the both of us. I truly hope that one day my former spouse will find freedom as well.
Before finding out that my husband was living a life hiding in sin, we thought our marriage was "perfect". We had been together for 10+ years, married for 5 years, and had 2 young kids. We got along great. We rarely ever had an argument or disagreed about anything. We enjoyed the same activities and loved spending time together.
The day after our 5-year anniversary I caught my husband. My life crumbled before my eyes and our "perfect" marriage was destroyed. I had discovered my husband's hidden sin. He had been entangled with this sin since he was 9 years old.
We didn't know where to turn. We had no clue what the next steps were that we needed to take. Our hometown church was not equipped with resources on how to handle this situation. Through the church, we were put in contact with a couple from another church who had a similar story to ours. They recommended Mark and his program. We knew if we wanted to save our marriage we needed to invest in this.
Mark's program did just that. My husband is no longer living a life hidden in sin! Mark was able to help him find the root of his addiction and teach him tools to stay sober. I was able to participate in the program for wives. I was so grateful to have my questions answered, learn about addiction, have love and support from other wives, and build meaningful relationships with other women going through the same experiences as I was.
We are 10 months in recovery and our marriage is very strong. The tools Mark has taught us have made our marriage so much better than the "perfect" marriage we thought we had before. We are still working on the root of his addiction and the trauma this betrayal has caused, but with the help of Mark and the grace of God, our marriage is thriving.
I was raised by a father who is today known as a "sex addict". Porn and affairs were a part of my parent's marriage. When my husband started acting out I believed some of it was 'normal" and just something men did. I also knew it made me feel 'less than" It made me feel uncomfortable, insecure, fearful, and angry. I felt alone, isolated, embarrassed, and without much value. I internalized much of what was happening as my fault. That is until I met Mark Makinney. I was on the verge of ending my marriage on my 1st visit with Mark, but he asked me to wait and give him 3 months before I made a final decision. I am so glad I did.
Through Mark’s program and his expertise, I finally felt heard. I felt many of the negative feelings lift away. With empathy, kindness, and patience Mark taught me I had value and my husband's choices and his addiction were in no way my fault. It wasn’t because I was not pretty enough, not thin enough, sexy enough, or any other labels I put on myself. His addiction had nothing to do with me.
It also validated my core belief that pornography is destructive and tears families and relationships apart. My husband could no longer use excuses or rationalizations to justify his behavior.
He understands this addiction and the damage it has done. He understood the effect it has on the wives. With Mark, I finally, for the first time, learned that I could trust a man. Mark’s office was a safe place to express my fear and anger, I could vent, yell if needed, shed tears, and learn hope. I always wanted to have that “perfect” marriage and what that means to me today is two imperfect people who don’t give up on each other.
This journey is not an easy one, I will always have triggers and the occasional intrusive thought but because of what I learned from Mark I have the tools to cope and resolve them much better. I believe anyone who is struggling with a loved one battling addiction will benefit greatly from giving Mark a chance. He offers hope, healing, and the chance to fight for what is yours. I cannot recommend him enough. He was my 1st step to healing.
I will always be beyond grateful for the help we received from Mark. He helped my husband get out of isolation and began to walk in the light. When I discovered my husband had a sexual addiction I wanted someone who understood the process it would take for my husband to receive healing. Mark walked us through those early days of disclosure and what healing would look like for both of us. I am thankful for the relationship my husband and I now have as the result of Mark's help and guidance. We are enjoying the restoration of our marriage and I continue to reap the benefits of going to Mark and my husband continuing to work on his healing process.
Before I met Mark our marriage was (FINE). I had learned to isolate, burying my feelings all my life. I also learned to medicate my pain, eventually allowing my medication to control my life. When my sin was exposed to my wife I felt there was no hope for me or my marriage. Right at the proper time, God brought Mark into our life. The only reason I agreed to see him was I knew he would hear my story and recommend me to someone else. (WHAT WAS I THINKING). The help Mark provided brought me out of isolation and I began walking in the light. I am learning to understand intimacy with my wife in ways I have never understood. Because of the help we received from Mark and his group our marriage is stronger and has become a safe place for both of us, to be open and share our feelings and thoughts.
Our marriage was slowly dying for years. We were isolated from each other. I was closed off emotionally and not able to be open or vulnerable due to keeping secrets.
When my sex addiction was exposed, it shook us both to the core and completely destroyed the trust in our marriage. We were fortunate to find Mark Makinney and he got us started on the process of healing me and our marriage. He even was able to address aspects of my sex addiction that I was blind to. It was some of the hardest work we have ever done, but it helped us to start rebuilding our marriage. Mark has a great program he took me through but he was also flexible to adjust it for what I needed and even set the day's lesson aside to help me work through aspects that were particularly difficult for me. Mark is hard when he needs to be and soft when he needs to be.
Going through Mark's program got us to a place where we were even able to go to marriage counseling, and now our marriage is stronger than it ever was before. We enjoy a level of intimacy that would have been beyond comprehension to the person I was in my addiction.
One of the men in my recovery group said something that I totally agree with: Mark Makinney is the gold standard for helping men heal from sex addiction.
My husband was battling a terrible, life-long addiction that dictated every downfall his life had encountered. I was left with little to no hope in his recovery after learning of his addiction to porn, sex, affairs, and lying. After our first session with Mark, I saw the pain in my husband's eyes. His conflict with wanting to be a better person. He tried to "white knuckle" his way through sobriety, not realizing the havoc he caused himself and so many others, nor did he realize the depth of his addiction.
His journey to healing began the day he started his program with Mark. His accountability sponsors, men's group, and individual sessions with Mark have given him a life free of the shackles. Each step he took in his recovery gave me the assurance I needed to begin my own healing. I, too, began a support group with Mark and other women who had similar experiences. Triggers, fears of relapse, and working through my own insecurities were paramount in addressing before I could fully forgive and accept my husband for who he was and who he has become, a beautiful man with the integrity to heal himself.
My husband and I continue to meet with Mark monthly, support others on their journeys, and have a beautiful marriage built on trust, love, and respect. This would not have been possible without Mark and his program
Before seeing Mark our marriage was a real mess, lack of communication was one area it suffered. I had hidden sexual issues. During Mark’s counseling, I did a disclosure that brought out the sexual issues. Though this brought much pain, it did open the door to more communication and steps to healing our hearts, and our marriage.
Our marriage continues to heal as we go through the painful past of betrayal. Pastor Mark was able to lead me through my past trauma issues and brought them to the light to receive healing. He also worked with my wife on her past traumas. Dealing with our past trauma has helped us as individuals and as a married couple. We are both very grateful for Mark’s caring and very insightful counseling.
My wife and I first went to see Mark when we were getting serious about marriage but knew that in order for it to succeed I had to have a path toward recovery from my porn addiction. Thankfully we found Mark first instead of another counselor because we hear a lot of people who try to see a “general” counselor instead of one who specializes in porn recovery and it never works. After our first visit with Mark, we had tremendous hope that there was a real path to recovery, while simultaneously recognizing that it was not going to be easy. Mark is really good at calling out my BS and would not let me minimize or deny my true behavior. It sucks initially but ultimately led to my freedom.
Four years later and my wife is very happy with our marriage. We have great intimacy, and great trust, and feel like we are more connected than most couples. I still go to a weekly pure desire group to process my lust, my childhood trauma, and my day-to-day challenges. If you really want to be healthy, Mark will guide you there no problem.
Jesus used Mark's counseling to completely change my life. Before seeing Mark, I was stuck in a decade of regular compulsive porn use. It left me completely isolated, unable to form deep relationships with friends, family, or even my girlfriend. I didn't know how to deal with feelings in a healthy way, how to have any vulnerability, or to be honest with others, and I was stuck in a constant cycle of relapsing into addiction, guilt, shame, and trying harder. After connecting with Mark, he confronted my denial, walked me through my past, and connected me with other men to practice building deep relationships with. His counseling, wisdom, and encouragement, were pivotal in helping me understand my feelings, learn about my worth in God, and in teaching me what real vulnerability looked like on a day-to-day basis with other men. Together, he started me down a path toward real healing and becoming the man God made me to be.
I've now been sober for over three years, have been able to build real, deep, and vulnerable relationships, and start to rebuild the ones that had fallen into disrepair. I'm now engaged to a woman who I can be completely honest with, and without Mark, I wouldn't have any idea how to have and nurture such a relationship, or how to deal with difficulties in it without turning to pornography. I feel like a new person, and my time with Mark is what I look back at as the time that turned my life around.
Before we started seeing Mark, I knew that my wife & I loved each other but things were going sideways in our relationship. I knew the more I wanted to fix things, the more my wife retreated. The only thing I knew for sure was that there was a growing distance between us. What I didn’t know was that my lifelong pattern of retreating into porn was not something that stayed isolated but was a symptom of a much bigger problem that I couldn’t see.
We started meeting with Mark together & then separately in a men’s & women’s group. I also layered in individual meetings with Mark. In the wives group, Mark gently asked questions to help my wife see that she was not alone & learned to find her voice in our relationship. Mark helped me learn that my addiction to porn was a desperate attempt to try to fill other needs that I was oblivious to. I was denying emotions I was feeling which then amplified my insecurities & fear of inadequacy (especially as a husband). And my pattern was to then respond through my perfectionism which only then resulted in my feeling shame, self-hatred & an even greater need for perfection in my life & my marriage. Unable to deal with this, I would then retreat again to porn. After Mark helped me shatter the delusion that porn offers, he came alongside me & continued to ask questions that helped me understand the deeper needs that I had been carrying my entire life.
Having my sin & brokenness brought into the light & realizing how much mercy & grace I have been shown, I am finally able to love my wife with that same mercy & grace. The underlying tension is gone. We sense when even the small things cause distance & quickly talk it out using the tools we learned. And when our brokenness flares, it’s easy to show grace & let the other person work through things without fear or retreat. Our lives aren’t perfect but we face things together - openly, lovingly & above all real. I truly believe that this would not have happened without the experience, methods & style Mark brought to the journey. We cannot recommend Mark highly enough.
I was a single guy that spent all my free time secretly looking at porn. In my life of addiction, I racked up over 2,000 hours of viewing pornography. That is equal to a full-time job for one year. I also served at church and pretended I had my life together. I was living a double life walking in darkness and carrying the weight of it all alone. I was nearly incapable of asking for or receiving help. I didn't know what I needed. In my ideal world, I would have been able to solve my problem alone without any help. But that wasn't working for me.
At my core, I knew I needed help but I didn't want to ask for it. I didn't want to admit that I was helpless. I almost lost the most important relationships in my life because of my secrecy and addiction. These people intervened in my life and made me start seeing Mark. I went reluctantly in order to try to salvage the wreck my life was becoming.
At first, I did not like him and I did not trust him. He told me some hard things. Later, I would see that they were true things. But he also listened to me. Understood me. Showed me compassion. Showed me empathy. And he never shamed me. He helped to walk me out of the dark trap I was living in. God blessed me by placing Mark in my life to help rescue me. My life has been transformed by his care and leadership. I never believed that freedom and life in the light were truly possible until Mark showed me how and helped me on the road to getting there.
I was in constant hiding. I hid behind my phone and filled my schedule with constant tasks draining our relationship from the warmth of a loving husband that my wife sought. She complained, but all I heard were threats that pushed me farther.
Then she found out I was still battling porn in our marriage after I promised to stop. I apologized. She forgave me, but I couldn’t stop. Our marriage was bound to end before our first anniversary.
In our darkest moment, we came across Mark's practice. I signed up and attended both the one-on-one sessions with Mark and the group sessions with others seeking help. Mark helped me mitigate my destructive behaviors by first identifying them and their triggers, incorporating healthy actions toward understanding and vocalizing my emotions with others and particularly my wife.
The result has been nothing but life-changing. I feel alive. I feel like I matter. Most importantly, I can be a healthy God-fearing husband to my wife. Now I do not pretend like I have it all together or hide who I am. I can validate my wife's emotions and not be threatened by them.
We will be celebrating 30 years of marriage this August! Keyword, celebrating! It was a year ago when my husband decided enough was enough and made the call to Mark. I am forever grateful. I had known about his addiction before marriage but we naively thought marriage would fix it. Slowly I was feeling insecure and distant. He would get angry and rage about everything when with me. Out with others, he was nice. I was thinking I was the problem. It wasn't until after 6 years of marriage I left. That was his breaking point and confessed his addiction. He got help from church friends and a pastor.
We came back together, and everything was going well but every once in a while, he was angry. After infertility treatment, we had 6 kids, one set of quadruplets and we lost one girl after birth. One year after the quadruplets we had our last baby. So we had 5 kids under 5. It was stressful in itself. He was angry and would yell a lot.
We moved to another state and that is when I found out more about his addiction. It did not stop. We continued to try to work on things on our own. We found Rosie's book and then Mark. My husband is happier and more at peace. He has always wanted the root of the anger gone and it is! I am getting more secure in his love for me. We are both healing and learning to connect with each other and our teenagers now. We highly recommend Mark's guidance and expertise.
We were separated and headed for divorce after 30 years of a marriage devastated by addiction when we found Mark. He has been instrumental in teaching my husband how important honesty, group support, transparency, communication, emotional vulnerability, and empathy are in recovery. He has helped him get to the root of how his struggles started, what his feelings and triggers are, and how to deal with them. Mark pointed him to Jesus as the source of all hope and healing.
I was fortunate to be able to join a group led by Mark that has helped me navigate my painful journey of healing as well.
My husband and I are in a better place than we have ever been, it is not perfect, but there is an emotional intimacy that we’ve never had before. My husband is back in our home and we are continuing our recovery work together, building trust, a new foundation, and a new marriage.
I lived a life full of darkness and didn't realize the magnitude of my actions and how they hurt everyone I cared about. I thought my sexual desires for variety, pornography, and adultery were a part of me and not a result of an addiction. In the moment of desire, I loved who I was, and in the moments of brief clarity, I didn't like myself.
I had no accountability and refused to let many people see all the layers of my lies and deceit until I met Mark. I was finally able to set myself free of lying and be the husband I knew was within me. I have been sober for 3.5 years. I meet with Mark monthly and my men's group twice a month. I feel strong and finally living a life full of my truth.
I am so thankful that I joined one of Mark's groups. After some uncomfortable confrontations, I finally agreed to get help. Mark was recommended and at first, I was hesitant and did not think I needed help. After struggling alone for some time I finally gave up and started working with Mark. His skill at getting me to see myself in a new light was amazing. Mark was able to show me that my problems on the surface were just symptoms of something deeper. With God's help and Mark's encouragement, I was able to confront some trauma from childhood and begin a new journey of finding the true person God wants me to be. Mark helped set me free from past shame and guilt and helped set me on a path of freedom and joy!
Prior to working with Mark, we were exhausted after years of going in circles. Mark walked us through a facilitated disclosure and polygraph, giving us a foundation of truth.
I (Will), appreciated Mark's leadership, helping me to practice being real and honest with a group of guys. Mark is spiritually discerning and gifted at "poking the bear" to expose issues that needed to be addressed in a kind and non-judgmental way. I have learned to identify and express feelings, instead of repressing them, which has led to a deeper emotional intimacy with my wife.
Martha felt a burden lift as she trusted Mark and the guys to spur me on in my recovery.
Mark's input has had a big impact on our recovery and we highly recommend his ministry to our friends.
We are forever grateful that God used Mark to help us find hope again.
Before working with Mark, I had tried other things, including a licensed counselor. I am 60+ yrs old and all the things didn't seem to help with my addiction. But through this ministry and Mark, I have been able to understand why and have discovered a freedom that I have never had. At first, I didn't like the sessions with Mark but once I got past my addictive brain, I could see that he was leading me to truth through the Word of God and that bringing my addiction into the light was freeing in itself. Having the sessions with someone like Mark, who knows exactly what I was going through, because he too dealt with the same struggles, was such a blessing and so helpful.
He also put me with a group of guys that have challenged me and helped me stay on track. We have become very close and have helped one another in this recovery process. I have also, recently, been able to help another person by becoming a sponsor for someone else who is struggling with this addiction.
I am so thankful to Mark and his bold approach that led me to freedom for the first time since adolescence. I have also directed others to his ministry and they are expressing their thankfulness as well.
Before we sought help from Mark, we were married but emotionally strangers, living together but not connecting... all the while I was hiding how much pornography I was indulging in. My wife knew about my addiction but didn't know how to respond to it, which led to her trying to ignore it at times and pouring out her brokenheartedness to others. I was so numb from escaping through pornography that I felt almost no empathy toward her pain. After 6 years of a cycle of seeking help in the local church, not getting anywhere, trying to ignore the problem, and then seeking help again, my wife was introduced to Fight for Love ministries. She then insisted I seek professional help as the only viable way forward, which I did grudgingly. Mark showed us and helped us practice being totally honest with each other and setting up a plan to protect me from acting out and my wife from being betrayed without recourse. It has taken a lot of work to practice being vulnerable and connected, but now we are much closer than we have ever been before. I never really believed I could go a significant amount of time without viewing porn, but praise God it's been 8 months of freedom and recovery; which has largely only been possible through the group sessions Mark led me and 6 other men through (and who still meet). We recommend Mark's program to any couple who feels hopeless in this addiction; we are so thankful for this work being done!
While deep in my addiction, I was insecure, anxious, and unable to experience true love and connection with God, my wife, and others. I lived a fractured life and desperately ran away from any source of pain. After finally recognizing my need for help, my wife and I met with Mark and began the long road back to intimacy, wholeness, and healing. Through counseling, Mark was able to highlight the patterns of thought and behavior, as well as the role of past trauma that kept me bound to my addiction. Through the group sessions, I and fellow addicts learned how to tell the truth, and to see ourselves clearly for the first time - and our group continues to meet to this day. It’s been over 2 years of sobriety and our marriage has never been stronger as our intimacy has deepened. We are able to truly support and champion each other, be more present and intentional parents and experience the fullness of each other’s love. Mark’s expertise, support, and counsel have been a true God-send and we will be forever grateful.
Hope and Healing are the 2 words I use to describe this part of dealing for 16+ years with my husband's porn addiction. He tried several avenues to be free and nothing was complete. Finally, we have seen what walking in the light can do and what it looks like to really know each other on a vulnerable and emotionally intimate level. Now my husband is paying it forward and helping others on the path to freedom. I am so thankful for Mark and his directness and desire to see my husband come to the truth. I can finally breathe and enjoy my marriage with my husband who is finally free to be himself. I don't know if I could have held on to "another" try at something just to see it not happen for him. This is finally the answer we have been praying for. TRUTH and HONESTY are the beginning to walk in freedom and we are finally there! The women's group was amazing as well. Mark was able to help us feel at ease and direct us to healing by challenging us and also validating each of us. We continue to meet as we have become close-knit and this has also been an important part of healing. This was finally a safe place where others understood what I was going through. I can finally breathe again and no longer feel like I'm in the crazy zone. You can't express what you feel to someone who hasn't experienced the trauma and pain that comes from addiction to sex/porn. Mark provides is a safe place to heal and move ahead in life. I know we are moving ahead and walking in healing and freedom!
Before working with Mark I was addicted to pornography and masturbation. I was living a lie - lying to my wife, but mostly to myself. I worked as a missionary in Asia and I thought I could hide and manage my addiction (I didn't even consider what I was doing as an addiction). Eventually, after some major professional setbacks, I stopped avoiding my behavior and decided I didn't want to continue to medicate with actions that I had been telling myself were not incredibly destructive - they were, and I needed to stop.
A close friend had worked with Mark and recommended him. I was nervous to dedicate the time, money, and vulnerability toward working with Mark. But I'm so glad I did. I threw myself into Mark's recovery program. The process was absolutely life changing - probably the most difficult thing I've done in life, but the best things in life often are difficult. Working with Mark was radically different then any other counselor, church, or accountability group I'd ever been a part of. I'm now more than 2 years sober and all aspects of my life are healthier and improved, especially my relationship with my wife, my kids, my ministry, and my understanding of myself.
From the outside, and on the surface our marriage always looked great. We truly loved each other, held hands at church, and went on many fun holidays together. However, the grip of porn on me, and the resulting cycle of many relapses and partial disclosing/betrayal discovery was killing our marriage from the inside. We tried several counselors, groups, and ministry programs over the years without lasting change. When we started working with Mark it was clear this was different. This is a radically honest approach, looking the ugly truth of sexual addiction in the face, being completely honest first with yourself, and then your partner, in a safe facilitated way. Being in a group where others who can relate, can as one guy put it "call out your BS". The groups Mark facilitated have really been game-changers. We just passed 1 year of our marriage being pornography free which is an absolute miracle! Huge thanks to Mark for the great work you are doing.
Disillusioned, disgusted, and determined to get help; I was searching for solid ground and clear direction when my husband of 18 years knocked me off my feet with his confession that he had been lying to me for most of our marriage. He was addicted to pornography, and in spite of my instincts telling me something was off, I was blindsided by his confession. I didn't want to waste time with unproven, wandering paths. I was so relieved to find that Mark's care was the clear, proven way forward that we needed. Mark gave us trust-worthy, biblically-based (but not spiritually abusive) direction, spoke truth to illuminate the way, didn't accept excuses for destructive behavior, and offered irresistible hope as we "walked in the light." Both my husband and I felt seen, understood, and empowered to change as we faced his addiction together, with Mark's steady guidance. Asking for Mark's help was one of the best decisions we have ever made; a decision that continues to bring health and hope to our increasingly-fulfilling marriage.
I reached out to Mark Makinney during a time of real confusion, sorrow, fear… Mark listened, and validated, he provided direction and a way to address the betrayal I feel resulting from my husband’s sexual addiction. Currently, there is increasing integrity within the marriage as I slowly begin to feel more secure and sound. The sacred trust which was lost is gradually finding its way back with complete marital restoration being the prayer and goal. The groundwork for the first steps was laid by Mark through his approach with couples, his sound counsel, and knowing that the redemptive grace of a good, good God can restore marriages even after betrayal. Thank you, Mark!
My marriage experience before finding Mark’s ministry was one of confusion and torment. My husband of 30 years had done such a masterful job of manipulation that I could not see up from down, nor truth from lies. After two sessions with Mark and a full disclosure, I was in a recovery group with other women and ready to take on the healing plan, but sadly my husband was not. He declined further assistance, and as I look back on my healing, I realize I was miraculously set free by God of his abuse through the truth and love that Mark shared with the both of us. I truly hope that one day my former spouse will find freedom as well.
Before finding out that my husband was living a life hiding in sin, we thought our marriage was "perfect". We had been together for 10+ years, married for 5 years, and had 2 young kids. We got along great. We rarely ever had an argument or disagreed about anything. We enjoyed the same activities and loved spending time together.
The day after our 5-year anniversary I caught my husband. My life crumbled before my eyes and our "perfect" marriage was destroyed. I had discovered my husband's hidden sin. He had been entangled with this sin since he was 9 years old.
We didn't know where to turn. We had no clue what the next steps were that we needed to take. Our hometown church was not equipped with resources on how to handle this situation. Through the church, we were put in contact with a couple from another church who had a similar story to ours. They recommended Mark and his program. We knew if we wanted to save our marriage we needed to invest in this.
Mark's program did just that. My husband is no longer living a life hidden in sin! Mark was able to help him find the root of his addiction and teach him tools to stay sober. I was able to participate in the program for wives. I was so grateful to have my questions answered, learn about addiction, have love and support from other wives, and build meaningful relationships with other women going through the same experiences as I was.
We are 10 months in recovery and our marriage is very strong. The tools Mark has taught us have made our marriage so much better than the "perfect" marriage we thought we had before. We are still working on the root of his addiction and the trauma this betrayal has caused, but with the help of Mark and the grace of God, our marriage is thriving.
I was raised by a father who is today known as a "sex addict". Porn and affairs were a part of my parent's marriage. When my husband started acting out I believed some of it was 'normal" and just something men did. I also knew it made me feel 'less than" It made me feel uncomfortable, insecure, fearful, and angry. I felt alone, isolated, embarrassed, and without much value. I internalized much of what was happening as my fault. That is until I met Mark Makinney. I was on the verge of ending my marriage on my 1st visit with Mark, but he asked me to wait and give him 3 months before I made a final decision. I am so glad I did.
Through Mark’s program and his expertise, I finally felt heard. I felt many of the negative feelings lift away. With empathy, kindness, and patience Mark taught me I had value and my husband's choices and his addiction were in no way my fault. It wasn’t because I was not pretty enough, not thin enough, sexy enough, or any other labels I put on myself. His addiction had nothing to do with me.
It also validated my core belief that pornography is destructive and tears families and relationships apart. My husband could no longer use excuses or rationalizations to justify his behavior.
He understands this addiction and the damage it has done. He understood the effect it has on the wives. With Mark, I finally, for the first time, learned that I could trust a man. Mark’s office was a safe place to express my fear and anger, I could vent, yell if needed, shed tears, and learn hope. I always wanted to have that “perfect” marriage and what that means to me today is two imperfect people who don’t give up on each other.
This journey is not an easy one, I will always have triggers and the occasional intrusive thought but because of what I learned from Mark I have the tools to cope and resolve them much better. I believe anyone who is struggling with a loved one battling addiction will benefit greatly from giving Mark a chance. He offers hope, healing, and the chance to fight for what is yours. I cannot recommend him enough. He was my 1st step to healing.
I will always be beyond grateful for the help we received from Mark. He helped my husband get out of isolation and began to walk in the light. When I discovered my husband had a sexual addiction I wanted someone who understood the process it would take for my husband to receive healing. Mark walked us through those early days of disclosure and what healing would look like for both of us. I am thankful for the relationship my husband and I now have as the result of Mark's help and guidance. We are enjoying the restoration of our marriage and I continue to reap the benefits of going to Mark and my husband continuing to work on his healing process.
Before I met Mark our marriage was (FINE). I had learned to isolate, burying my feelings all my life. I also learned to medicate my pain, eventually allowing my medication to control my life. When my sin was exposed to my wife I felt there was no hope for me or my marriage. Right at the proper time, God brought Mark into our life. The only reason I agreed to see him was I knew he would hear my story and recommend me to someone else. (WHAT WAS I THINKING). The help Mark provided brought me out of isolation and I began walking in the light. I am learning to understand intimacy with my wife in ways I have never understood. Because of the help we received from Mark and his group our marriage is stronger and has become a safe place for both of us, to be open and share our feelings and thoughts.
Our marriage was slowly dying for years. We were isolated from each other. I was closed off emotionally and not able to be open or vulnerable due to keeping secrets.
When my sex addiction was exposed, it shook us both to the core and completely destroyed the trust in our marriage. We were fortunate to find Mark Makinney and he got us started on the process of healing me and our marriage. He even was able to address aspects of my sex addiction that I was blind to. It was some of the hardest work we have ever done, but it helped us to start rebuilding our marriage. Mark has a great program he took me through but he was also flexible to adjust it for what I needed and even set the day's lesson aside to help me work through aspects that were particularly difficult for me. Mark is hard when he needs to be and soft when he needs to be.
Going through Mark's program got us to a place where we were even able to go to marriage counseling, and now our marriage is stronger than it ever was before. We enjoy a level of intimacy that would have been beyond comprehension to the person I was in my addiction.
One of the men in my recovery group said something that I totally agree with: Mark Makinney is the gold standard for helping men heal from sex addiction.
My husband was battling a terrible, life-long addiction that dictated every downfall his life had encountered. I was left with little to no hope in his recovery after learning of his addiction to porn, sex, affairs, and lying. After our first session with Mark, I saw the pain in my husband's eyes. His conflict with wanting to be a better person. He tried to "white knuckle" his way through sobriety, not realizing the havoc he caused himself and so many others, nor did he realize the depth of his addiction.
His journey to healing began the day he started his program with Mark. His accountability sponsors, men's group, and individual sessions with Mark have given him a life free of the shackles. Each step he took in his recovery gave me the assurance I needed to begin my own healing. I, too, began a support group with Mark and other women who had similar experiences. Triggers, fears of relapse, and working through my own insecurities were paramount in addressing before I could fully forgive and accept my husband for who he was and who he has become, a beautiful man with the integrity to heal himself.
My husband and I continue to meet with Mark monthly, support others on their journeys, and have a beautiful marriage built on trust, love, and respect. This would not have been possible without Mark and his program
Before seeing Mark our marriage was a real mess, lack of communication was one area it suffered. I had hidden sexual issues. During Mark’s counseling, I did a disclosure that brought out the sexual issues. Though this brought much pain, it did open the door to more communication and steps to healing our hearts, and our marriage.
Our marriage continues to heal as we go through the painful past of betrayal. Pastor Mark was able to lead me through my past trauma issues and brought them to the light to receive healing. He also worked with my wife on her past traumas. Dealing with our past trauma has helped us as individuals and as a married couple. We are both very grateful for Mark’s caring and very insightful counseling.
My wife and I first went to see Mark when we were getting serious about marriage but knew that in order for it to succeed I had to have a path toward recovery from my porn addiction. Thankfully we found Mark first instead of another counselor because we hear a lot of people who try to see a “general” counselor instead of one who specializes in porn recovery and it never works. After our first visit with Mark, we had tremendous hope that there was a real path to recovery, while simultaneously recognizing that it was not going to be easy. Mark is really good at calling out my BS and would not let me minimize or deny my true behavior. It sucks initially but ultimately led to my freedom.
Four years later and my wife is very happy with our marriage. We have great intimacy, and great trust, and feel like we are more connected than most couples. I still go to a weekly pure desire group to process my lust, my childhood trauma, and my day-to-day challenges. If you really want to be healthy, Mark will guide you there no problem.
Jesus used Mark's counseling to completely change my life. Before seeing Mark, I was stuck in a decade of regular compulsive porn use. It left me completely isolated, unable to form deep relationships with friends, family, or even my girlfriend. I didn't know how to deal with feelings in a healthy way, how to have any vulnerability, or to be honest with others, and I was stuck in a constant cycle of relapsing into addiction, guilt, shame, and trying harder. After connecting with Mark, he confronted my denial, walked me through my past, and connected me with other men to practice building deep relationships with. His counseling, wisdom, and encouragement, were pivotal in helping me understand my feelings, learn about my worth in God, and in teaching me what real vulnerability looked like on a day-to-day basis with other men. Together, he started me down a path toward real healing and becoming the man God made me to be.
I've now been sober for over three years, have been able to build real, deep, and vulnerable relationships, and start to rebuild the ones that had fallen into disrepair. I'm now engaged to a woman who I can be completely honest with, and without Mark, I wouldn't have any idea how to have and nurture such a relationship, or how to deal with difficulties in it without turning to pornography. I feel like a new person, and my time with Mark is what I look back at as the time that turned my life around.
Before we started seeing Mark, I knew that my wife & I loved each other but things were going sideways in our relationship. I knew the more I wanted to fix things, the more my wife retreated. The only thing I knew for sure was that there was a growing distance between us. What I didn’t know was that my lifelong pattern of retreating into porn was not something that stayed isolated but was a symptom of a much bigger problem that I couldn’t see.
We started meeting with Mark together & then separately in a men’s & women’s group. I also layered in individual meetings with Mark. In the wives group, Mark gently asked questions to help my wife see that she was not alone & learned to find her voice in our relationship. Mark helped me learn that my addiction to porn was a desperate attempt to try to fill other needs that I was oblivious to. I was denying emotions I was feeling which then amplified my insecurities & fear of inadequacy (especially as a husband). And my pattern was to then respond through my perfectionism which only then resulted in my feeling shame, self-hatred & an even greater need for perfection in my life & my marriage. Unable to deal with this, I would then retreat again to porn. After Mark helped me shatter the delusion that porn offers, he came alongside me & continued to ask questions that helped me understand the deeper needs that I had been carrying my entire life.
Having my sin & brokenness brought into the light & realizing how much mercy & grace I have been shown, I am finally able to love my wife with that same mercy & grace. The underlying tension is gone. We sense when even the small things cause distance & quickly talk it out using the tools we learned. And when our brokenness flares, it’s easy to show grace & let the other person work through things without fear or retreat. Our lives aren’t perfect but we face things together - openly, lovingly & above all real. I truly believe that this would not have happened without the experience, methods & style Mark brought to the journey. We cannot recommend Mark highly enough.