4-Step Recovery Process
Beginning the recovery process is very scary because there are a lot of unknowns. That is why I created a 4-step recovery process so you can know what to expect and exactly what you are committing to.
I employ a powerful combination of biblical principles and the proven methods of Patrick Carnes, that together address the real causes of sexual addiction - and bring positive and lasting change.
For those who commit to my treatment process the results are completely life-changing. Overcoming sexual addiction IS possible, and I'm here to lead you on the journey to real and complete healing.
4-Step Recovery Process
Beginning the recovery process is very scary because there are a lot of unknowns. That is why I created a 4-step recovery process so you can know what to expect and exactly what you are committing to.
I employ a powerful combination of biblical principles and the proven methods of Patrick Carnes, that together address the real causes of sexual addiction - and bring positive and lasting change.
For those who commit to my treatment process the results are completely life-changing. Overcoming sexual addiction IS possible, and I'm here to lead you on the journey to real and complete healing.
1.
Initial Assessment
At the very first couple's meeting, I assess if I am the right provider for you. When there is a safety issue between the couple or mental health issues that are beyond my scope of practice, I will refer to specialized resources.
When I believe that I can help a couple, I will also assess what kind of support the husband and the wife each currently have, and in most cases, I will offer them each a sponsor. A sponsor is a Christian man or woman who has been through my program and has a solid base of healing. There is no cost to the sponsorship service, as I have found that the men and women who experience freedom really do want to pay forward the freedom and hope they have found.
1.
Initial Assessment
At the very first couple's meeting, I assess if I am the right provider for you. When there is a safety issue between the couple or mental health issues that are beyond my scope of practice, I will refer to specialized resources.
When I believe that I can help a couple, I will also assess what kind of support the husband and the wife each currently have, and in most cases, I will offer them each a sponsor. A sponsor is a Christian man or woman who has been through my program and has a solid base of healing. There is no cost to the sponsorship service, as I have found that the men and women who experience freedom really do want to pay forward the freedom and hope they have found.
Foundation Stage
2.
This takes about 4-6 weeks and involves both the husband and the wife. As I work with the husband to prepare him for a thoroughly honest disclosure (without any deflection or blame), his wife will work with a Christian female coach who will help her feel stable and secure as she prepares to hear the disclosure. After the disclosure, the wife, with the help of her coach, will prepare her own document in response to what she has learned and share her hurt/fear/anger. This is called an impact letter. The reading of the impact letter is carefully facilitated, and the emphasis is always on creating a safe space where the truth can finally be heard with no further trauma being experienced by either party. The husband will then prepare a restitution letter which he will read to his wife.
If a polygraph is necessary to confirm that the entire truth has been revealed, I will work with the wife to implement that process.
After these sessions are complete, we work on a safety plan that will help stabilize the situation and establish safety for the wife as the couple navigates the turbulent waters of early recovery.
Foundation Stage
2.
This takes about 4-6 weeks and involves both the husband and the wife. As I work with the husband to prepare him for a thoroughly honest disclosure (without any deflection or blame), his wife will work with a Christian female coach who will help her feel stable and secure as she prepares to hear the disclosure. After the disclosure, the wife, with the help of her coach, will prepare her own document in response to what she has learned and share her hurt/fear/anger. This is called an impact letter. The reading of the impact letter is carefully facilitated, and the emphasis is always on creating a safe space where the truth can finally be heard with no further trauma being experienced by either party. The husband will then prepare a restitution letter which he will read to his wife.
If a polygraph is necessary to confirm that the entire truth has been revealed, I will work with the wife to implement that process.
After these sessions are complete, we work on a safety plan that will help stabilize the situation and establish safety for the wife as the couple navigates the turbulent waters of early recovery.
3.
Individual Weekly Sessions
After the foundation stage, I begin to work individually with the husband weekly for 22 weeks. In our individual work, the husband will uncover the lies that underpin his addiction, the false self he has created, and the damage he has inflicted on his family and on himself. He will also learn his triggers and how his brain sets him up for failure. He will become familiar with the signs of his own vulnerability. He will also take a close look at the way he has been living, i.e., has he been able to ask for his legitimate needs? Does he live a balanced life that includes recreation, rest, and time to engage with both his wife, his kids, and other men?
The goal of the individual work is to take a close look at his life and how his way of living was creating fertile ground for addiction and how to live in a way that decreases his need to escape and invites him to meet his needs ‘in the light,’ eliminating the need for him to ‘go underground’.
3.
Individual Weekly Sessions
After the foundation stage, I begin to work individually with the husband weekly for 22 weeks. In our individual work, the husband will uncover the lies that underpin his addiction, the false self he has created, and the damage he has inflicted on his family and on himself. He will also learn his triggers and how his brain sets him up for failure. He will become familiar with the signs of his own vulnerability. He will also take a close look at the way he has been living, i.e., has he been able to ask for his legitimate needs? Does he live a balanced life that includes recreation, rest, and time to engage with both his wife, his kids, and other men?
The goal of the individual work is to take a close look at his life and how his way of living was creating fertile ground for addiction and how to live in a way that decreases his need to escape and invites him to meet his needs ‘in the light,’ eliminating the need for him to ‘go underground’.
Group Work
4.
The men I see are required to attend one of my 13-week foundation groups.
The sole focus of my groups is to help men experience a real authentic community, which is the only effective way to fight. By the time our group ends, you should have a solid fellowship with guys who share their mess and hear yours, and love you enough to encourage and challenge you.
You do not have to label yourself an addict for the rest of your life, but you do have to live as God intended you to live—in a transparent, consistent community until the day the Lord takes you home.
Group Work
4.
The men I see are required to attend one of my 13-week foundation groups.
The sole focus of my groups is to help men experience a real authentic community, which is the only effective way to fight. By the time our group ends, you should have a solid fellowship with guys who share their mess and hear yours, and love you enough to encourage and challenge you.
You do not have to label yourself an addict for the rest of your life, but you do have to live as God intended you to live—in a transparent, consistent community until the day the Lord takes you home.
